What is in a name?

We had less than 48 hours of free time when we didn't have to be in Seoul. Mr. Happy and I decided to take a road trip.

A Korean American friend of mine insisted that we visit Geyongjo. She said it was her all time favorite place in Korea. A former capital of ancient Silla, you can visit the temple ruins in a beautiful and peaceful setting.

I got the bus schedule and after Mr. Happy's last meeting of the day we headed to Geyonjo. It was an easy bus ride and we arrived in town around 3pm. I hadn't been able to book a hotel on line so we wandered around a bit before stumbling on to the Q Motel. It was nice and clean and had a PC in the room and a whirlpool bath. The hallways were extraordinarily dark and illuminated by strange ladybug lamps. It was ok.

Because it was late in the day and raining outside, we figured we'd save the ruins until the morning and have a wander about town.



Hmmm.

Not the quaint town I'd been imagining.

Mr. Happy kept asking, "This is her favorite city?"

I chalked it up to the rainy weather and felt that we'd be in for a treat when the sun came up.

We found a restaurant for dinner. There was no English menu, or picture menu, or people that spoke English. So the waitress said a few words and we nodded. Whatever she wanted to bring us.

Mr. Happy was skeptical and tried to translate what she was saying in our Lonely Planet.

He was convinced that she was bringing us cow's knee bone.

Frankly, that seemed impossible and I couldn't imagine that would be a very big meal.


At any rate, she brought us something and it was delicious!

Sorry no picture of the actual stew that came. I liked it!

Mr. Happy just picked. So after the meal he wanted to hunt down something new. The first restaurant we stopped at had some English on the menu. They offered something called Loach Soup both with and without green onion.  Mr. Happy wasn't having Loach Soup.

The next place had a menu with pictures! And that was just up our alley. Without hesitation Mr. Happy ordered a scallion pancake.

It was massive!

Even though I had a stomach full of cow's knee bones, I couldn't resist a slice or two.

After that we called it a night as we wanted to be up early to take in the sites.

The next morning I consulted my map and discovered.

We were in Gongjo.

We were supposed to be in Geyong jo.

That is the place my friend recommended. Her favorite place in Korea. Not Gongjo.

Hmmm.

Well, it's part of the adventure of traveling and quite frankly it renewed our faith in our friend's suggestions. Gongjo still had a fort to visit so we bundled  up and headed across the river to take a look at the fort.

Along the way, I stopped and took a photo with this guy.

I wasn't sure what he was supposed to be.

Luckily, they had a photo of what it was.

Still.
No. Idea.

On to the fort.

I really couldn't decide what was my favorite part. It might have been this.

But this was very good.

And I can't forget this.

Totally worthwhile!

Actually there were one or two more interesting buildings.

And this story was pretty funny!

Seriously? The guy with the food's name is Mr. Im Famished? I think someone is having a laugh.

In the end, we packed it in early and caught a bus back to Seoul. We got back early enough to take in a  show. We watched Nanta which a lot of people recommended and it played on Broadway a year or so ago. It was a fun show. Maybe a little pricy for what it was, but if you check online  you can find some discounts on the tickets.

DMZ

**Note: Breaking news has announced the death of Kim Jong-Il. My Korea postings are appearing following my trip two weeks ago, so I wasn't there when this happened. It will be very interesting to watch how this plays out in the region. Kim Jong-Il was a brutal dictator who isolated his small country from the rest of the world. Outside of China there are few governments willing to support the dictatorship. He was, however, well loved by North Koreans. His son Kim Jong-Un is poised to take over; a young man who is a complete unknown with no experience in diplomacy or leadership skills. It's fair to prepare for a degree of turmoil during the power transition in Peyongyang, but hopefully the peninsula will avoid a major conflict.

______

I've travelled all the way to Korea. I would be remiss if I spent all my time eating and having my skin removed. I wanted to take part in something more historic. So I signed up for a USO tour to the DMZ.

These are slightly tricky to get on. They only run them twice a week so try and book ahead of time.

Also there's a a strange dress code. For instance you aren't supposed to wear a skirt, tight pants, shorts, high heels, or sweatshirts. Verbally I was told not to wear sneakers or jeans. So I wasn't entirely sure how to outfit myself for this trip. I actually did wear a skirt because I assumed they meant no short skirts. And I wore a pair of tight pants on underneath it. Brave. I also carried some extra clothes in my backpack in case I got in trouble. I was alright.

First we stopped at the Third Tunnel which the North Koreans secretly dug to try and sneak into Seoul. it was discovered in the 90s. We couldn't take pictures.

We also stopped at Dorasan Station. A newly refurbished train station that stands empty awaiting the day that North and South Korea will again be connected.

I bought a ticket!

The DMZ is 160 miles long, 2.5 miles wide and the most heavily militarized border in the world. We were allowed to take photos. Sort of.

We were also taken to a gift shop where we could buy things like:

North Korean liquor.

Rice grown inside the DMZ.

Once we arrived at Camp Bonifas on the 38th Parallel which separates the North from the South we had to follow a set of rules. We always had to stand between two ROK soldiers and we couldn't take any photos of the South. 

We did see some North Korean soldiers.

Our guide told us sometimes the DPRK soldier's stand on the border line and make slicing motions across their throat. Boyish. And scary.

The North Koreans have one of the world's largest flagpoles. The flag is so big that it is too heavy to blow in the wind.

There's a village on the South Korean side called Freedom Village. The people who live here are mainly farmers and they aren't required to pay taxes. When they tend to their crops they must be guarded by ROK soldiers. Otherwise they risk being kidnapped by the North Koreans.

Back in 1976 there was a horrifying incident pegged the Axe Murder Incident. Two US soldiers were attacked and killed by North Korean soldiers when they attempted to prune a poplar tree. We heard this story several times. In the museum they had a model of the incident. I thought this verged on bad taste. And reminded me of the murals on the TV show Parks and Recreation.

Just after our visit the North Korean government threatened to attack if the South Koreans put up any Christmas decorations at the DMZ. There is a lot of hostility here.

Hopefully someday this tiny country can be reunited.

Love Motels

So, it turned out that I booked Mr. Happy and myself into a Korean Love Motel.

Now, this isn't actually as seed as it sounds. In Korea, young people live at home until they marry. In order to get a little 'alone' time they book themselves into  a 'love motel'. They are actually quite modern, designer-y and impeccably clean. That being said, we do have a mirror over our bed and a bottle of complimentary massage oil on the dresser.

In fact, the room is decked out with lots of 'products': gel, hairspray, lotion, perfume, cologne, etc.

Luckily, I took a second look at this before I applied it to my hair thinking it was hair spray.

Why is this bottle of bug spray so big?

Why IS there a bottle of bug spray?

Street Eats

One of the best things about Korea?

The food!!! Like KL it is plentiful, relatively inexpensive, and everywhere!! The cuisine is very different from Malaysia which made it all the more exciting for us. Here are some highlights!

pita with honey and cinnamon

 scallion pancake

 ramen and dumplings 

 rice balls covered with seaweed

hotdogs covered in french fries, rolled in sugar and ketchup!

 court cakes

A Korean Clean Up

According to my Lonely Planet, "You haven't experienced Korea until you've visited a bath house."

Bath houses, or jjimjilbangs, combine hot tubs, steam rooms, saunas and massage tables. However don't mistake it for an American style spa. There are no comfy robes or mandolin music. And modesty is not part of this vocabulary. 

As a westerner, in order to visit a jjimjilbang, you must be comfortable getting naked in public as well as making a fool of yourself in public - naked. 

Nothing terrifying about that.

With Mr. Happy stuck in meetings all day, I was on my own. And if the Lonely Planet said I needed to try this, clearly there was no backing down.

I took the train to Itaewon where I'd read there was a bath house that was welcoming to foreigners. Unfortunately, this foreigner couldn't figure out where the heck it was located. However, there was no missing a long staircase that advertised another  24 Hour Health Spa. 

I was torn. 


I really didn't want to do this.


I really did want to do this.


I'd come this far, I mustered up my courage and I climbed. Only to find this.

Closed. 


The 24 Hour Health Spa was closed. 


Why would a 24 Hour Health Spa even need a closed sign?


Luckily, I've lived in Asia long enough to know I can't believe everything I read. I figured the least I could do was try the door before I gave up. And...it was open!


I puzzled out that I was supposed to give the woman at the front dest 6000 won. In exchange, she gave me a locker key, a hand towel, a t-shirt and shorts.


First stop - the shoe room.

This is where you leave your shoes. The rest of the day will be spent barefoot. After this the men and women separate and head to their own locker rooms. 


I headed to the ladies' changing area.


I'd read that from here on out everyone would be naked. N-A-K-E-D!! However all the people I saw were wearing clothes and watching tv.


Time to panic. 


This was a Monday and weekdays are much slower in a bathhouse than the weekend. Naturally.


Since I wasn't going to lie back and watch a Korean soap opera, I figured I better take off my clothes. Gasp.

picture has been removed

Just kidding! There are no pictures! Come on.


Anyway, I stripped down, stuck my locker key around my wrist and walked into the main area wearing the oversized washcloth which I put this to work modestly covering the back of my neck.


As I was about to step into the wet room I was stopped by a Korean woman wearing lacy pink underwear and a bra. She started talking to me in quick fire Korean.


Oh. My. Lord. 


What was she saying??


Was I not supposed to be naked? Was I supposed to keep my underwear on? Did she want money? 


I clutched the washcloth, "Ummm..."


Just then another - fully clothed - woman approached. In halting English she explained that Lace Undies worked there and was wondering if I was interested in any add ons. 


Ok. The work uniform is lace underwear. Why don't they just wear a bathing suit?


I breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes!" I answered with a grateful smile, trying to seem both confident and casual while standing naked in a foreign country negotiating through sign language. 


I did want an add on. I wanted a professional scrub down. But I wasn't carrying any money on me. Obviously. Back to the locker for my wallet. 


Eventually, I handed over 20,000 won and was told she'd be with me in an hour. 


I finally walked into the wet room. This is where all the other naked people were! Finally, I could relax...sort of.


The large room had five hot tops filled with mineral water from an underground spring. Each tub was a different temperature ranging from holy hell hot to Eskimo icy cold. The walls were lined with wash stations and Korean women were filling up buckets and scrubbing down. Most of them were paired off and they scrubbed each other as the chatted and laughed. 


Fountains pumped water into the hot tubs. 


Penis shaped fountains.


Once again I wondered if I was in the right place. 


This area also had a plunge pool, a steam room and a dry sauna. 


After skipping around the different temperature tubs, Lacy Panties summoned me to the massage area. 


I climbed up on the rubber covered massage table and laid on my back. She pulled on a set of exfoliating gloves, grabbed some soap and water and started scrubbing me. 


SCRUBBING ME.


This lady didn't miss a trick. My skin started coming off in sheets. 


IN SHEETS.


Frankly, I don't know what I've been doing in the shower the past 30 years.  Wasting time, I guess. 


She lifted my arms, bent my legs, rolled me on  my side, my stomach. She scrubbed my feet, my head. At one point she accidentally stuck her finger in my mouth.


SHE SCRUBBED MY NAIL POLISH OFF.


She scoured me like the inside of a pot. 


Did it hurt? 


What do you think?


I got up from that table and I was three pounds lighter. And pinker.


I thanked her and went back to the tubs to catch my breath. 


I then washed off and went back to the locker room where I changed into the shorts and tshirt. At this point I was pretty dehydrated and had no desire to pass out in this place. I bought a drink and gulped it down in front of the Korean soap. That's when I noticed a few women going upstairs.


There's more?


I finished my drink and climbed the steps.


There was a lot more.

The next floor was co-ed. Everyone wore the shorts and t-shirts. Not wanting to look like a tourist, I casually followed someone through a three foot door which led to a small tunnel and came out -


- in a lava cave.


Ok, there was no lava, but this is the hottest room I've ever been inside of in my life. This is what the inside of an oven feels like. I call this room the Incinerator. 


People sat in a circle, broiling themselves atop scraps of carpet. 


Some people were lying flat down and had covered their bodies with thick, rug-like blankets. They had towels over their faces. I couldn't imagine they were still alive.


But, like I said, I didn't want to seem like a tourist. So I sat down. Started sweating. And waited to die. 


I positioned myself near the doorway to the tunnel. I thought I might catch a breeze when people came in and out. 


No.


Finally, the woman in the lotus position next to me unfolded herself and got up to leave. I took this as permission that I could escape without losing face.


Outside the sauna was a common area with mats on the floor. People here rested while watching tv, listening to music, eating snacks and chatting. 


I threw myself down on a mat and waited for my body temperature to drop from a boil to a simmer. 


When I could finally sit up again I noticed there were a number of additional saunas in this room. A glutton for punishment, I went exploring.


First I tried out the granite room where you walk around on hot stones.


Then there was the ice room shaped like an igloo.


There was an herbal heat room.


And a couple of other saunas that were not nearly as hot as the Incinerator.


Up another floor were even more saunas, a game room, a comic room, a computer room and a restaurant.


You definitely need a few hours to properly experience the bath house. You can even spend the night.

When I finally stepped out on the street I congratulated myself for facing my fears. The jjimjilbangs was a near-death authentic experience I'm glad I had. The Lonely Planet said it would be.


And the Lonely Planet is never wrong.