On our first morning in Bangkok, we arise early and grab a quick breakfast at the hotel.Today was going to be our most important sightseeing day! We took the Skytrain to the Saphan Taksin stop. This drops you off right at the river where you can pick up a ferry.
Bangkok has been described as the “Venice of the East” and, while this might not hold true, there are lots of sights to behold.
Chao Phraya Express runs a ferry service. Don't waste your money on an an all day ticket for 150 bhat. Take the local ferry. It’s the same boat but it only costs 13 bhat a trip. Chances are you won’t make more than 2-3 trips in one day and I’m willing to wager that NO ONE makes anywhere near 10 trips in one day, so you’ll save $$ by following this hint.
We beheld the mystery that is...Bangkok.
Some monks beheld the mystery that is…my father.
And my father beheld the mystery that is...the Thai bhat.
To go to the Grand Palace, disembark the boat at Tha Chang and walk through the market.
The Palace is in front of you. Turn left to walk toward the entrance. Locals will tell you to turn right, locals will insist that the Palace is “closed” today, locals will do anything to dissuade you from entering the palace and persuade you to buy their "tour package". Don’t believe them. It’s a scam. Everybody's tryin' to make a buck.
We reached the Palace and hired the service of a Thai tour guide. I’ve been here once before and it was a lot more enjoyable with the help of an expert.
The complex consists of Wat Phra Kaew (Temple of the Emerald Buddha) and the former residence of the monarch.
Nine Thai kings have contributed to the creation of the grounds which were consecrated in 1782.
Demons, monkeys, and yakshas (mythical giants) guard the Royal family.
The Emerald Buddha is the primary attraction. It is cloaked in a different royal robe depending on the season. It was nice to see the little Buddha, but there is so much more to see!
The architecture – which is classified as Ratanakosin (old-Bangkok style) – is amazing.
For some people, this is the hardest part of visiting temples!
Our tour took about two hours and it was hot, hot, hot. We next wanted to go and see Wat Po – the Temple of the Reclining Buddha. I suggested we walk. It’s only about 10-15 minutes away.
I got out voted and we opted for a tuk-tuk (a local, three wheeled taxi.) This ended up being a mistake…a big mistake.
It started out fun.
Little did he know he might be waving goodbye…forever.
It quickly became apparent that our drivers had no interest in delivering us to Wat Po. They wanted to take us on a “tour," get us to spend money at a jewelers, and swing by a part of town where they could get a gas credit. This wasn’t our plan.
We demanded to be taken to Wat Pho. Our driver, who looked like a really bad version of Gargamel on the Smurfs refused! A fight ensued where Mr. Happy was called a “haggling Indian”! He returned with “Thai crook”! Mama mia!
Then, my parents driver veered off in a different direction.
We had basically adjusted ourselves to the fact that we would never see them again, but then we did see them again! So we jumped out of the tuk-tuk ordering my parents to start walking FAST.
Our tuk tuk driver started chasing us down the street on foot. But old Gargamel couldn’t move too fast. We jumped into a taxi. But before the taxi could pull away from the curb, Gargamel pulled up in his tuk-tuk and blocked our car.
More arguing ensued. We threatened to get the police involved and he finally backed off. It was thrilling! But I was slightly worried there would be a man with a knife waiting for me and my bhat at Wat Pho.
We arrived at Wat Po relieved to be alive. We marveled at the Reclining Buddha, but it was a little difficult to really enjoy the experience because our adrenaline was still pumping, it was over 100 degrees, and we hadn’t had anything to eat or drink in eight hours.
Mr. Happy and the father then went off to the tailor for a second fitting. The mother and I enjoyed some Thai Massage at the famous Wat Pho massage school.
That night we met back at the hotel and changed around. We had tickets for – Calypso!!
Calypso! is one of Thailand’s most famous lady boy cabaret shows.
It’s a fun experience. All of the songs are lip syncing, but it’s not the music that everyone is there to see. Most of these lovely ladies are singin' baritone if ya hear what I'm sayin'.
After the show we got to meet some of the cast.
Can you tell who is the lady and who is the boy?
How about now?
Then it was off to dinner at Cabbages and Condoms. My friend Don’t Mess With Texas, who used to live in Bangkok, recommended this place. The food was nice.
And the artwork inspired.
Here is the father with Safe Santa. He’s made entirely of condoms.
He knows when you’ve been naughty…
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