Travelin' to Tioman

We are going to Tioman Island!! My friend ‘Round the World (RTW) and I are squeezing in a short beach vacation before I fly off to London and Norway. We’ve decided we want to go somewhere we can get to via bus because we’re both tired of dealing with airports. Tioman is about five hours away by bus and then two hours by ferry. Easy…right?

WRONG! We arrive at the Puduraya bus terminal in time to catch the 9:00am bus to Mersing. Unfortunately, the 9am is sold out and only the 11am is available. The 11am might get us to Mersing in time to catch the last ferry to Tioman, but it would be very close. We beg to be let on to the 9am bus and finally they agree to let us ride standby.

We wait patiently by our bus inhaling lots and lots of dangerous fumes.

I’m not sure how RTW continues to look so cute.

Finally the bus driver tells us that two people have not showed and he boards us! Then the two people arrive and he kicks us off!

We make the best of our two hour wait and slog over to Starbucks where we read a gossip magazine and drink designer coffee.

I pay 30 cents to use what I can only describe as a prison bathroom.

I advise RTW to hold it. RTW shows tremendous savvy by going into a nearby hotel and using a bathroom suitable to freedom loving non-criminals!

I have so much to learn.

We end up back in the fume infested bus parking garage.

We have seats! But they are in the very back and do not recline. RTW has a red plastic chair next to her more appropriate for a lawn party than a bus trip. We wonder if anyone will be sitting here.

A man who looks just like Jesus Christ sits in front of us. Well, Jesus Christ with a straw Vietnamese triangle hat, dreadlocks, and a mouthful of Dunkin’ Donuts.

The back row is on an elevated platform and we look down on our fellow passengers, lording over them. An unusual and highly decorated velvet curtain hangs behind us and adds to our feelings of royalty.

Unfortunately, the back of the bus is covered in cobwebs and infested with bugs.

This makes us feel less royal.

The guy who looks like Jesus Christ starts killing the bugs with his bare hands, making me think, “He’s no Jesus Christ.” But we are happy there are fewer bugs.

We make one stop. Despite dehydrating ourselves I still have to use the bathroom. This one is much better than the prison toilet from earlier.

We finally arrive in Mersing at 4:15. The last ferry leaves at 4:30! An old woman meets the bus selling ferry tickets. I’ve already reserved two spots so I ask her to point us in the direction of the ferry. She motions in a general direction and tells us to “hurry”.

This is possibly the worst direction in the world! I think the boat must be around the corner but it is a fifteen minute walk away! I call the ferry people twice to tell them we are on our way. We arrive hot, sweaty, tired, and stressed out.

Somehow our fellow bus passengers reached the terminal before us and look cool as cucumbers. This makes us mad!

The ferry leaves one hour late. This makes us mad!

The ferry ROCKS on some sizable waves. This makes the woman sitting next to me throw up (not RTW).

spoiler alert: this video shows the boat rocking...not the woman throwing up

We arrive in Tioman at 8PM and a 4WD meets us for the drive across the island to our hotel the Juara Mutiara Resort. This "resort" isn't awful (for Malaysia), but it's best suited for guests who only plan to be in their room to sleep - in the dark.

We check in and immediately go to the Santai Bistro , the sole cafe, where we rustle up some grub.

Can’t wait for morning so we can actually SEE the island!